A New Book On My List~

After reading Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior on the WSJ, I thought it would be fun to read Chua's book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Not because I agree with all of Chua's parenting style but because it rang true to how my mother raised me and my siblings. Chua was more strict than my own mother but there are so many similarities that I can't help but want to read the book and look back at the days when I lived at home. When I told my older sister, the one who got the most lecturing in academics, about the article, she laughed and was interested in reading it also - a book that lets us know we were not alone.

Children of Asian mothers are linked in a peculiar way that only we can really appreciate. Some people - read mostly Westerners - find it horrible to be constantly compared to siblings or friends who "do" better. "Why can't you be like your older sister?" was something I heard daily. My older sister, who I have a fantastic relationship with by the way and is now a lawyer who has her own share of Tiger Mother memories, studied constantly and stayed in her room most of the time. While I was made to clean house and tend to my father and brother because I was "too dumb to do anything but be a pretty face."

Much to my mothers disapproval, I chose to become a housewife and tend to my family. I left a great career as a boat captain, something she was simultaneously shocked by and loved, to raise my children. She still comments that it's not too late for me to go become a doctor, what she always slated for me to do until she discovered I was "too dumb," or start my job again driving boats and throw my kids in daycare.

I find that many of my Western friends, who have so much trouble with their own moms, had it easy compared to me. I think one friend was called fat once or twice - ok maybe even five times - and she still has issues with her mother to this day! I was shocked. My mother, like Chua, withheld food from me constantly because I was too fat.  She would take me to the gym to sweat off my fat after running 6 miles - Maybe it was because I had a job modeling most of my high school life and my mom thought this would be my meal ticket so she pushed me the way Tiger Mothers do.

I can say that my mom and I have a wonderful relationship now. She is a fantastic grandmother who is more tender than I thought she would be and nags at me for being too harsh with my own children. It took a bit of growing for each of us and now I would die without her.

What am I trying to say? I think I will buy this book so I can read it while I am nursing in the wee hours of the night and get a laugh. I will let you know what I think!